TIP Noemi

_________________________________________________

Hi Friends,

Maybe I’ve mentioned this 3 million times already, but I am a lawyer. Not a designer. I am not a trained marketing, branding, UX, design etc. expert, but I have worked on my own brand for 3 years plus. And, in this time, I have learned (at least) the basics you need to stand out on social media (Substack included).

So! Take it from me! You do not need to be a pro designer, a Canva Expert, a tech savvy person to have a good looking profile photo. You just need a free (or better yet a pro) Canva account and a picture you like of yourself.

Why? Because my guides help you bridge the gap!

In the video’s first minutes, I even show you what you can do without much design at all.

P.S. If you found this article/guide useful, please restack it for good Karma! <3 I really appreciate it!

Share

If you follow my video guide, you can get results like the below. All pics were made in the guide!

If watching the video is not for you… here are some basic tips.

10 Quick TIPS so your Profile Photo pops!

1. Use a square image design in Canva to get started 600x600 minimum resolution.

2. Use an image of you if you can. It is better than a logo, a puppy picture, or a cartoon/AI generated avatar of you. (Note! A cartoon version of you can work too or an avatar if you are concerned about privacy, have no photo that you like of yourself, you are shy… etc. It just makes it more difficult to connect with people- not impossible).

3. My tips and guide work for ALL PROFILE PICTURES: on Substack, LinkedIn, Google, Facebook… most platforms require a square photo.

4. The best profile picture cuts off around the shoulders/ you can see a bit of your torso. A picture that gets too close (from the neck up) or too far (full body) is not ideal! Also - no group photos!

5. Choose a photo where you face straight forward or you are slightly leaning/looking to your left. Like in the below example. Pointing with your body posture towards your writing towards your chat is preferable. You will be perceived as engaged and open to communication.

   

6. You can use your profile picture as LOGO for your publication (many do) to make your Substack super personal. People look for your face to find your publication. Helps with connection.

7. Remove the photo background (especially if it’s super-busy) and instead use a color from your brand colors as your background or a color that complements your skin. See my guide to see how you achieve this with Canva.

8. You can find a nice way to incorporate your logo into your profile picture (like some of the above profile pics- details in the video guide).

9. If you only watch my super simple guide and create a 1000x1000 pt. Canva design to follow my instructions you’ll make an awesome profile picture.

10. You can use my Canva Kit including the profile picture template to update the entire look of your publication in a fraction of the time! But it’s not necessary for the profile pic alone!

    You can thank me by reposting or asking a question in the comments.

Leave a comment

Want to update the entire visual identity of your Substack → FAST?

Then you can get my Full Canava for Substack Kit which includes 10 awesome templates to update the entire visual identity of your Substack publication!

NOTE!!!

If you have purchased this in the past you should have the updated templates with the video guides already. Do not buy it again!

The Full Canva for Substack Kit is getting updated these days to including the video guides for each template in the package. this is just episode 1 out of 8.

You will literally get all you need to succeed directly in Canva.

DM me if you have purchased the kit and have questions.

Is this Kit for you?

Yes. Get the Kit if you…

• Know how to use a computer

• have a basic understanding of operating your Substack publication

• Want to create your own beautiful and cohesive visual design for your Substack.

• Have a free Canva account (or preferably premium - even temporarily) coupled with basic Canva skills.

• You re not a pro designer at all, but you want to look pro anyway and want to give it a go!

Don’t get the kit if you are really bad with a computer, like you barely know how to send emails, how to reach the settings of your Substack, and have 10% or less willingness and curiosity to learn.

Reviews:

To See Episode 2 - Use Canva to Update your Substack Publication you know what to do!

Subscribe now

All my Canva Super-Simple Template Kits (video+templates+instructions) are linked below.

See Noemi's Templates

Thanks for reading/ viewing!

I am not sure how many of you are entrepreneurs or solo-preneurs already, but for those flirting with making the jump → This conversation is for YOU!

and myself sat down for a candid conversation about making the jump from corporate career to taking on a solo-preneur journey. See the below timestamps to see where the conversation took us.

Last but certainly not least, thank you yo and all the others who joined us LIVE for the conversation and if you joined a bit later, this is your recording of the full conversation.

I hope you enjoy and it inspires someone.

Conversation Timestamps

• 00:04 — The decision to go solo

• 00:17 — The moment when we “quit” and how it felt for each of us

• 00:19 — When you free up space and time, you will find opportunities flood in

• 00:21 — The realities of solo-preneurship

• 00:48 — Noemi and Sal answer: “If you could have a do over, would we do it again?”

1) The decision to go solo — 00:06:23

Sal walked us through a measured path to solopreneurship. She reduced her employed days, built skills, tested offers, and watched the signal. When the timing aligned, she stepped out with intention.

I shared my own decision point. I was unhappy in a dream job at least on paper. I asked for Me Time, for real. I wanted alignment, family time, and the freedom to choose my priorities again. Clarity came from trying things while still employed, then deciding to jump on my own.

What helped

• Build a brand/Test while you still have a salary

• Know who you want to be useful to

• Choose boundaries that protect time and attention

Try this
Write one sentence that starts with “I am useful to…” and ends with a specific person and problem. Use it as your filter for business ideas.

2) Quitting time and how it felt — 00:17:01

Sal described telling her boss. It felt like relief and happiness right away. Confirmation from home that it was the right move.

I talked about asking my boss for Me Time, giving notice, and the immediate feeling of joy and freedom. Not reckless. Responsible to my health and my family.

What it can mean for you

• You can leave with dignity and a plan

• Relief is data your body gives you

• Responsible and brave can coexist in the same decision

3) When space and time opens up, opportunities flood in — 00:19:21

When your calendar stops squeezing you, new things show up. Sal saw invitations, library events, reader momentum, creative collaborations. I saw the same pattern, my new gig found me before my last day of work.

Why this happens

• Leaving space lets you notice the right opportunities.

• Free time to think of next steps helps you connect to the opportunities you really want

• Non productive time is productive. Rest is productive and imperative for creativity.

Try this
Block two hours each week called White Space. No inbox. No errands. Have a pen an paper and write what comes to mind. hopes, dreams, projects opportunities, hopes. Put it in writing so it moves from gut feeling, to conscious brain and then your frontal cortex can register opportunities that fit your written hopes, dreams and goals.

4) The realities of solopreneurship — 00:08:53

This is the part most people skip. We did not.

Time management
I shared my daily rule. One must do. Two may dos. That is it. Sal resets from overwhelm with movement. Yoga, swim, run. Energy before output.

Being your own boss
You get to say no, and you have to say no. Define your ideal reader or client and stick to it. Selling becomes simple when the fit is clear.

Signal vs noise
Do the work that moves the needle. Writing the piece. Shipping the offer. Serving current subscribers or clients. Tinkering and performative busyness can wait.

Time vs money
Pay for help when it frees you to do higher value work. Money replenishes. Time does not.

Health
Autonomy improved our well-being. Better sleep, calmer minds, more presence with family. That matters.

Try this

• Choose tomorrow’s one must do before you close the laptop

• Keep a Done List to see compounding progress

• When unsure, ask: does this drive value for my ideal person or for my business?

5) Would we do it again — 00:48:00

Sal’s answer was immediate. 150 percent yes!

My answer after almost a year is also a big YES! Not because every day is easy. Because every day is mine. I feel proud of the work and present with my family. That is the point.

If this helped, share it with one person who is on the fence. Block your first White Space session this week and tell me what walks in. 🎈

Rooting for your success,
Noemi Apetri

Hi Friends!

Life doesn’t move in a straight line, does, it?
Every few years, we all get hit with what Bruce Feiler calls a lifequake – What’s that? It can be something bad like a layoff, illness, divorce, burnout, or even something joyful but, still, disruptive like a new baby or moving across the world.

These moments shake the very ground beneath us. The question isn’t if they’ll happen – it’s how we deal with them.

That’s what Margaret and I unpacked in this Live. We shared not only the steps for handling transitions, but also why resilience isn’t enough. The real superpower? read on to find out.

Let’s dive in.

🕒 Timestamps Guide

• 00:00:28 – My story: from corporate lawyer to Me Time coach

• 00:02:56 – Introducing Bruce Feiler’s “Life Is in the Transitions” book and concepts

• 00:06:30 – The First 48 Hours: survival steps after a lifequake

• 00:12:14 – The 3 Phases: Long Goodbye, Messy Middle, New Beginning

• 00:19:04 – Running experiments to test your future

• 00:25:00 – Discovering your hidden superpowers through feedback

• 00:32:25 – The power of making your plan public

• 00:35:43 – Why Me Time matters: reclaiming control

• 00:49:35 – Silver linings in the hardest moments

• 00:53:37 – Focusing on antifragility vs. resilience

• 01:01:20 – Final recap: change is the only constant

As I mentioned, Bruce Feiler, in his book Life Is in the Transitions, calls these disruptive events lifequakes. these are changes so big they shake the foundations of your life. They can be painful (a layoff, illness, divorce) or joyful (a new baby, a big move), but either way they demand that we adapt and rebuild. Research shows they happen about every five years, and how we handle them shapes everything that comes after. ( You’ll find more details and steps in the handout I shared at the end.)

1. The First 48 Hours

When a lifequake hits, you’re in shock. Your head spins. The only focus for the first 48-36 hours should be safety and obligations:

• Check insurance, contracts, mortgage deadlines.

• Cut non-essential events from your calendar.

• Tell two trusted people so you’re not alone.

Think of it as survival mode. You’re buying yourself time to pause and get some clarity.

2. The Phases of Transition post Quake

Feiler’s framework has three phases – and they don’t always go in order:

• The Long Goodbye – Accept and let go. Stop asking why me? and start asking what now? Write a goodbye letter, burn an old contract, set boundaries. Create your own ritual of release.

• The Messy Middle – Run experiments. Test paths, set small goals, reflect on what gives you energy. Joy is your compass: does your soul dance or does it dread? Keep no more than three experiments at a time.

• The New Beginning – Craft your story. Clarity gives confidence. Share it with your community, make your plan public, and let people support you.

3. Finding Silver Linings

Not every lifequake feels “good.” Losing a parent, being laid off, or burning out can feel like the end. But each one can carry a lesson – often invisible at first.

• My father’s death taught me not to sacrifice my health for work.

• Burnout pushed me to build boundaries and create a life where I work less and live more.

Even the darkest moments can light the way to freedom. Ask yourself what were some hard challenges I faced and for each: was there a silver lining?

4. Beyond Resilience

I have a bone to pick with the word resilience.
Resilience means bouncing back to your old self. But why would we want to go back to before the pain?

What we really need is anti-fragility – the ability to come out better than before.
Like muscles after training: torn, repaired, and ultimately stronger.

That’s the mindset I invite you to take. Don’t just withstand. Grow.

5. Me Time in Action

Me Time isn’t about wishful thinking – it’s about reclaiming control.

• Not waiting for promotions, but acting like the leader you already are.

• Not hoping for opportunities, but creating them.

• Not wallowing in self-pity, but experimenting, choosing, and moving forward.

That’s the true art of living with anti-fragility.

Dreamers and Do-ers,

Life will shake us. That’s guaranteed!

What we choose to do next – how we accept, experiment, and grow stronger than before – that’s where our power lies.

Thank you again for watching.

Get more from 🎈Noemi Apetri 🎈 in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app

Firstly, thank you to all who joined the LIVE event! To name a few: , , , and the many whose names I can’t recall right now….

If you were not there live, just know that on September 16th, I invited Kate Vanness, home organisational expert, to chat to us about something we all feel in our bones:

The never-ending pain of doing chores: The laundry pile that multiplies. The kitchen that seems to undo itself overnight.

And how we can finally LEAN our housework to save time, clear mental space, and free up energy for what actually matters – the people we love and the things we love doing.

Kate Vanness-Kandoth (founder of Sorted State) takes the same LEAN principles pioneered in Toyota factories and applies them to everyday home organisation. Genius, right?

Because, let’s face it: your home is your enterprise. And every item in it should be doing its job well. Every task should fulfil its purpose.

👉 Below you’ll find:

• A Table of Contents with timestamps to skim the replay to the parts you’re curious about.

• A written summary so even if you don’t watch, you’ll leave with some practical insights. Watch the video for the full insights, though!

🕒 Table of Contents

• 00:00 – Meet Kate & Lean at Home

• 07:00 – Inventory Problem (Clutter, Bulk Buying & Just-in-Time)

• 16:20 – Laundry Done the Right Way

• 24:00 – Kitchens & the Golden Zone

• 39:00 – Change Management at Home

• 45:00 – Wrap up

Houston, we have an “Inventory Problem”

Kate opened with a mind-blowing fact: We spend 97 hours a year just looking for stuff. That wasted time adds up to nearly two full work weeks.

And science backs it: a UCLA study showed clutter raises cortisol, your stress hormone. Mess doesn’t just look messy – it actually makes you more anxious and less present.

So what’s happening?

• The Inventory Trap – Bulk buying feels efficient, but really it creates hidden work: storing, tracking, and remembering. Kate shared her “diaper subscription” story – more packages, more boxes, more stress.

• Scarcity Mindset – We shop “just in case,” thinking supplies might run out. But in today’s world, this only fills cupboards and our heads - there’s no scarcity unless you live on a remote island with no supermarket.

How to solve our shopping problems: Adopt the Just-in-Time Mindset – Shift to buying only what you need, when you need it. For Kate, that meant buying one pack of diapers along with milk each week. Less to store, less to track.

Laundry Done the Right Way

Doing laundry can fulfil more tasks than getting your stuff clean.

Kate’s tips:

• Stop folding kids’ clothes. They don’t care. Toss them sorted into bins and reclaim your time.

• Inspect while folding. Use laundry time to check if clothes still fit, need repair, need to go in seasonal storage, or belong in donation piles.

• Think of laundry as a process. The goal isn’t folded stacks – it’s making mornings smoother, getting dressed stress-free, and avoiding rework.

👉 Mindset Shift: Laundry isn’t a chore – it’s quality control for your wardrobe and a chance to a smoother week ahead.

Kitchens & the Golden Zone (24:00–34:00)

Kate’s big organising principle: the Golden Zone Rule.

Don’t organise by category – organise by use and access:

• Daily use items (golden zone): items at arm’s reach – like 4 mugs, your olive oil, or everyday spices.

• Weekly use items: one shelf away – wine glasses, cloth napkins.

• Occasional use items: high shelves or storage – baking pans, holiday dishes.

This isn’t just about neatness – it reduces decision fatigue. Even choosing between 8 mugs instead of 4 drains tiny bits of energy.

It applies everywhere:

• Kitchen: keep your everyday cooking tools closest, push less-used gadgets up or back.

• Fridge & Pantry: make snacks reachable for kids, put treats up high, spread storage based on use.

👉 Golden Rule: Treat your counter and first shelf like prime real estate – only daily essentials live there.

Change Management at Home (39:00–45:00)

We all know changing habits at home isn’t just about us – it’s about everyone we live with.

Kate’s 3-part system:

1. Shared Vision – Agree on the “future state.” Don’t dictate – co-create. Even her daughter got to pick her own sweatshirt hook at Ikea.

2. Communicate (x10) – It’s not nagging. Say it more than once, in different ways. Communication cements new habits.

3. Be Patient – You’ve been thinking about this change for weeks – your family is hearing it for the first time. Give adoption time.

And use visual cues: clear bins for toys, colour-coded laundry baskets, hooks at kid height.

👉 Golden Rule: Change is a journey. Bring your family along with vision, communication, patience – and a few clever visuals.

Wrap Up

Kate’s final encouragement:
“You’re killing it. You got this.”

And she’s right. Home doesn’t have to feel like a second job. With small intentional shifts, it can become the space that supports your joy, not drains it.

✨ My biggest aha: Every time you choose “just in time,” you buy yourself back mental space.

If this clicked, watch the replay – or let this recap be your starting point to experiment with LEAN home environment.

Subscribe to ‘s Sorted State to learn more about how to make home organisation work for YOU not the other way around.

Sorted State

Using professional productivity tools to help you organize your space - giving you back your time to focus on what matters most. Curated Spaces. Limitless Potential.

By Kate Vanness-Kandoth

That’s it, friends! Have a lovely week!

Rooting for your success,
Coach Noemi Apetri 🎈

P.S. Have you Subscribed to Me Time, yet?

Soooo find below the highlight reel. and timestamps if you want to browse the video.

What happens when you dare to live life at your pace — even at work, even in a world that rushes?

We wrapped up July with a Substack Live on slow living — but let me be clear:
This wasn’t about doing less.
This was about living more deliberately.

My guest was Claudia Brose, founder of Un-rushed, a Substack publication, retreat series, and movement that helps people rebel — gently — against the frantic pace of modern life.

We talked about slowness not as a weakness…
…but as a superpower.

🎥 Watch the Replay above and time steps below.

This conversation is for you if you’ve ever thought:
“I want to slow down, but I can’t. Not at work. Not with a family. Not in this world.”

🧭 What we talked about

00:02 – Meet Claudia: what Un-rushed is and how slowing down became her life’s work
00:07 – Why most of us fear slowness… and how to build up the courage to go against the current
00:10 – My burnout story — how I realized rushing was costing me my daughter’s childhood
00:13 – "If you go slowly, you don’t just arrive — you arrive in a better place"
00:15 – 🛠️ A powerful exercise to find your core values (the ones you’ll never compromise)
00:21 – Why courage to slow down starts with knowing yourself
00:26 – How your core values give you the words to say “no” at work, set boundaries with family, and live on your terms
00:31 – Slow organizations exist: Patagonia, mindful leadership, and the employee-first model
00:34 – Want to slow down at work? Try this: write your to-dos by hand, take real lunch breaks, walk after meetings
00:37 – Fear spirals at work — how to pause and test your catastrophic thoughts
00:40 – Slowness is a hidden skill in sports: why Messi and top athletes slow down before they dominate
00:43 – Why I stopped obsessing over Substack growth and focused on building something meaningful
00:46 – Claudia’s mountain retreats: slow mornings, hikes, coaching on values and courage
00:47 – What’s next: I’m off to Italy to practice what I preach… and then we kick off Do Sessions in late August

🔍 How to Find Your Core Values

Claudia said it beautifully: “You can’t stand up for your slowness until you know what you’re standing on.”

If you want to slow down at work, set better boundaries at home, or simply stop saying yes to everything, you need to know your values.

Here’s how to find them:

1. Print a long list of values. (Google "core values list PDF")

2. Circle 10 that feel like you. Not ones you wish you had. The ones you already live by.

3. Pressure-test them. For each one, ask:
   In what situation would I be willing to compromise this?
   If the answer is yes, it’s not a core value. Keep narrowing.

4. End up with 3–5 that you would never betray. These are your anchor. Your defense. Your compass.

When you know these, saying no gets easier.
Requesting flexibility at work feels grounded, not guilty.
You become clear. And clear people are powerful.

🧠 What if slowness made you smarter?

Claudia used to work in advertising. I worked in law.
We were both praised for speed — but we both broke under it.

Now? We see slowness as strategic.

→ In work: it helps you make better decisions
→ In life: it brings you closer to your kids, your partner, yourself
→ In leadership: it makes you listen — and your people feel seen
→ In sport: it separates amateurs from pros.
(Even Messi built his game around slowing down first, then reacting fast.)

So what now?

🎈 If you really need one… let this be your permission slip to move slower — and trust it’ll get you to a better place.
🎈 Subscribe to Claudia’s publication: Un-rushed- The power of slow.
🎈 And if you’re a writer, creator, or Substack dreamer that wants to get more done on the promoting your publication and monetisation side of things…:
I’m hosting Do Sessions in August 25 and September to help you build an no-brainer offer and monetize your writing without burnout.!

DM me “I’m in” and I will let you know what the next steps are.

You don’t need to change your whole life.

You just need to pause long enough to notice what matters.

You don’t need to work long hours on your Substack - you need to focus on what moves the needle.

Rooting for all of us to have more 💰 in the 🏦 and more 🎈joy🎈 in our ❤️❤️❤️
Noemi

The first time I heard about Carl Honoré, I was running on fumes.

Not burned out—just in go mode.
Pushing to finish a big project. Ignoring the signs.
Until my body gave me no choice.

Two injuries in one week. On both legs - for good measure.

Suddenly, I couldn’t walk fast—let alone live fast.

So I did something wild. I slowed down.
And in that quiet, I remembered Carl’s book.
Then I re-watched his TED Talk.
Reading Carl's book was like discovering an encyclopedia of wisdom on how to live well, live deeply, live… slower.

And guess what?

The father of the Slow Movement said yes to an interview.
And today—I get to share that conversation with you!

Interview

00:01 – Why Carl believes slowness is a superpower in modern life
05:20 – The moment he realized speed was stealing his joy
11:00 – The Italian concept of "tempo giusto" and how it applies to work
17:30 – How to introduce slowness in parenting and leadership
24:10 – The cultural myth that slowing down means falling behind
32:00 – Practical rituals for slowing down in everyday life
40:45 – The link between slowness, aging, and doing less with more meaning

Slowing Down and Vacations

Carl made a powerful point: vacations don’t work if we bring our speed addiction with us.

"People go on holiday and they pack their schedules even tighter than when they're working. They come back more exhausted."

Instead, he encourages us to practice what he calls a “slowcation.”

• Go somewhere without a packed itinerary.

• Do one thing per day.

• Let your body decide the rhythm.

• Say yes to boredom—it’s a doorway to creativity.

This section made me reflect on how even our rest is performative sometimes. Slowness, Carl says, should be a mindset—not just a location change.

What Slowing Down Actually Means

Slowness isn’t doing less. It’s doing what matters—at the right pace.

Carl introduced the idea of “tempo giusto”—the right tempo. Not too fast, not too slow. Just right.

"Slowness allows us to listen better, create more deeply, and love more fully."

Slowing down means:

• Savoring your morning coffee.

• Listening without the urge to reply.

• Saying no, even to good things, to protect the best ones.

The Slow Life and Modern Work Culture

Carl believes we’re addicted to busyness because we fear what might come up in the silence. And companies reward it.

But he’s hopeful:

“We’re at the tipping point. The culture is hungry for a different way of being.”

He points to workplaces experimenting with 4-day weeks, phone-free meetings, and deep work windows—not because it’s trendy, but because it works.

His advice? Start with one slow habit. And build from there.

📚 Learn More from Carl

🔗 Carl's Substack: Tempo – His personal reflections, essays, and deep dives on living a slower, richer life. Essays, tools, and reflections from the frontlines of the slow movement.

📚 Books by Carl:

• In Praise of Slow – the global bestseller that launched a movement

• Under Pressure – a manifesto for raising children without rushing them

• Bolder – a powerful reframe of aging in a speed-obsessed culture

🌐 Full website: www.carlhonore.com

So tell me: What’s one thing you’re going to do slower this week? 🎈

Leave a comment

This has been the first Substack LIVE where my audio was not working, but Gunnar answered all my questions and those of the listeners and he taught us how to publish a book and be happy.

If you want to hear about the writing process, building habits and getting 1% happier listen to Gunnar speak about Happiness Habits in this recording.

To join Gunner’s virtual book launch, click on the picture below.

If you liked this live subscribe to Me Time, and you will learn how to bring more joy in your career and life!

Subscribe now

🔴 Live with Gunnar Habitz - Summary of the main ideas

Gunnar called in from Sydney, Australia, where it was already night. Originally from Germany and raised in Switzerland, he shared that he’s authored 27 books and hundreds of articles. His heart lies in community and creativity—and he finds both by writing in cafés.

📚 Gunnar’s Substack Publications

Gunnar runs two Substacks:

1. Writing in Cafes – Stories, habits, and reflections brewed over coffee in public spaces.

2. Happy Habits – Will be launching with the book “Happy Habits”, focused on practical habit-building without pressure or perfectionism.

📖 The Origin Story of the "Happy Habits" Book

The idea was born—quite literally—on a bench at the beach.

• Over Easter weekend, Gunnar sat with a book in his hands but thought, “I don’t want to read about discipline—I want to practice it.”

• He started brainstorming the concept with help from ChatGPT.

• That night, he moved from the beach to a hotel bar, working until dawn to sketch out the entire book concept.

• Six weeks later, he finished writing it.

“I didn’t want it to be a big scientific book of 350 pages. I wanted it to be practical.”

✅ The 4 Ps of the Happy Habits

His framework for Happy Habits:

1. Pause – Life often forces us to pause (layoffs, illness, burnout). It’s where transformation starts.

2. Plan – Vision without a plan is just a wish.

3. Practice – Imperfection is allowed. The key is consistency.

4. Partner – Don’t do it alone. Announce your goals and use others as accountability partners.

He even used his own audience as accountability:

“I put it on Substack every 7 to 10 days that this book will come.”

💡 Writing a Book Without Burnout

Gunnar spoke candidly about the pressure to be fast, publish more, grow bigger. But:

“That’s not true. We don’t need to do more. Sometimes, we need to do less—but with more meaning.”

He quoted the proverb:

“I didn’t have enough time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one.”

It takes time to distill clarity. And that’s okay.

🧠 The Mindset Shift

He shared a funny reflection on his name:

“In Australia, some say ‘Gunnar’ like ‘gonna’—as in ‘I’m gonna do it... but never do it.’ So I made myself actually do it.”

He turned his publishing journey into a public commitment, which helped him follow through.

🧊 One Last Anecdote

After outlining his book idea, he stopped by a Danish ice cream shop in Sydney and thought:

“Yeah. I need to write this book.”

That moment of joy turned into six weeks of daily writing—and a finished book.

🎈 My Takeaways

You don’t need to hustle harder—you need to pause with purpose.

• Build your habits with heart, not guilt.

• Show up and share your process. It inspires others.

• Your story—yes, yours—can become a book.

Thank you for tuning in or listening. If you have more questions, ask in the comments.

Leave a comment

Rooting for your happiness,

Noemi

Read next:

Get more from 🎈Noemi Apetri 🎈 in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app

Subscribe to Me Time for more insights from coaches, authors and scientists on how to build a life on purpose, with purpose and joy!

Subscribe now

“Why Joy Now?”

Because you’ve waited long enough for a joy-filled life!

I didn’t always prioritize joy. I used to think it was a luxury. A reward. A thing I’d deserve after I nailed the presentation, cleaned my inbox, made everyone else happy.

But joy is not dessert. It’s your souls' main dish. It’s your fuel. It’s what you need to keep going — not the thing you get after you’ve suffered.

In our live conversation, Sarina Tomel (a mindset coach and fellow recovering perfectionist) and I got real about what it looks like to stop postponing joy and start letting it lead.

And here’s what we learned:

Joy is how your soul says yes to life.

It’s not dopamine. It’s not overindulgence. It’s not cake-as-escape. (Though sometimes joy comes with a side of cake, and that’s allowed.)

It’s that moment your soul dances inside your body. That aliveness. That “everything is going to be okay” feeling that comes before anything is actually fixed.

So why do we withhold Joy from ourselves?

I used to think joy had to be earned. No joy until I got the promotion. No vacation until everything was perfectly handled. No rest unless I was completely exhausted.

Sound familiar?

Sarina delayed starting her Substack for over a year although she loved writing.

We both had our "what the hell am I doing?" moment. The kind that flips a switch.

And here’s what we found on the other side:

Joy is a portal. It pulls you forward. It magnetizes opportunities.

(True Story: That week I prioritized volleyball and laughter, I got a DM from Kristina God to join a live with her.

Coincidence? Try the joy effect.)

How to Prioritise Joy

Here’s what Sarina and I recommend:

1. Make a Joy List. Write it when you feel good. Add quickies (5-min matcha) and big ones (half-day off). When your mood is low, go to the list. Don’t try to think your way to joy. Follow the breadcrumb you already left.

2. Try the 15-Minute Method. Sarina's mentor Samantha Bennett swears by it. Take 15 minutes first thing to do something joyful. Before emails. Before being useful. Before the world gets loud. Can’t do 15? Start with 5.

3. Use the Start-Stop-Change tool. Create 3 columns.

• Start (or continue) one joyful habit.

• Stop one joy-killer.

• Change one mindset (like “I’m trying” → “I’m committed”).

4. Put joy in your calendar. Literally. Schedule it. Like a non-negotiable meeting with your soul.

Let this be your sign

The Dalai Lama said it best:

"We are meant to live joyfully. That is the whole purpose of life."

So let’s start living like that.

Let’s stop saving joy for weekends, for milestones, for someday.

Joy is your sign you’re alive. And it doesn’t require permission.

Start today.

Dance in your kitchen.

Wear the thing that makes you feel bold.

Say yes to what lights you up.

Then come tell me what happened. You know where to find me. ;)

The Five Vs of Joyful Living

From Dr. Judith Joseph, Harvard-trained psychiatrist and author of High Functioning: Overcome Your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy (2025), here’s the Five Vs framework to help you move from coping to thriving. These are your customisable joy recipe — because joy looks different for everyone:

Subscribe now

1. Validation — Naming your emotions helps you stop judging them and start healing.

2. Venting — Releasing your feelings (journaling, talking, art) helps move emotional energy through your body.

3. Values — Aligning your life with what truly matters to you creates meaning and deepens joy.

4. Vitals — Basic self-care (sleep, food, movement) is foundational. You can't build joy on an exhausted body.

5. Vision — Looking forward to something and celebrating small wins keeps joy alive and growing.

You don’t need to hit all five every day. But when joy is missing, check where the leak is.

And start there.

Replay Timestamps

00:00 – Why joy? Why now?
00:05 – Meet Sarina: perfectionist to mindset coach
00:10 – Defining joy (beyond dopamine)
00:15 – The stories we tell ourselves about "earning" joy
00:22 – Substack delays & perfectionist traps
00:28 – Small acts of joy that transform your day
00:35 – Daily joy practice: 15-min method & joy lists
00:42 – Start–Stop–Change coaching tool
00:44 – Final thoughts + challenge to YOU

Get more from 🎈Noemi Apetri 🎈 in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app

Rooting for your joy,
Coach Noemi Apetri 🎈

I have some Me Time Fuel! If you’re tired, feeling a bit numb even in moments when you know you should enjoy, → this Me Time LIVE episode is for you!

We also talk about what joy is vs. pleasure (dopamine rush).

Joy and pleasure may both feel good, but they’re not the same. Pleasure is often short-lived and tied to external stimuli — like food, entertainment, or a compliment — and it triggers a quick spike in dopamine, the brain’s reward chemical. Joy, on the other hand, is deeper and more lasting. It often arises from connection, meaning, or presence — and while it also involves dopamine, it’s supported by other feel-good chemicals like oxytocin and serotonin. In essence, pleasure excites the moment; joy sustains the spirit.

Subscribe to Me Time

So if your spirits need a little boost this weekend, join us for this deep but also practical conversation about the key to unlocking the life of your dreams.

Together, we talked

• Why joy is often blocked by the need to be efficient, perfect, or "strong"

• How reconnecting to ALL our emotions, even the unpleasant ones, reopen the door to joy also

• The difference between a dopamine hit and lasting joy

• How modeling joy (not just providing it) is the most powerful gift we can give our children

• And why joy isn’t selfish → it’s a leadership skill and a survival strategy and the ultimate productivity hack.

👇 Replay & timestamps below → pick any moment and let it land where it needs to.

With love,

Noemi

Contents & Time Stamps

1. 00:00 – Introduction & Purpose of the Talk
   Noemi and Savitri greet the audience and explain the reason for their conversation: exploring joy.

2. 00:36 – Noemi’s Background and Coaching Focus
   Noemi shares her story of leaving law to help people create meaningful, balanced portfolio careers.

3. 01:17 – Savitri’s Background in Yoga and Coaching
   Savitri introduces her work in Kundalini yoga, meditation, and coaching since 2005.

4. 02:15 – The Role of Joy in Fulfillment
   The speakers agree that joy is central to living a meaningful life.

5. 03:40 – Noemi’s Personal Struggle Writing About Joy
   Joy is hard to define or teach — it’s a feeling, not a formula.

6. 05:20 – Savitri’s First Encounters with Joy
   She recalls her first experiences of joy during yoga and meditation, after years of depression.

7. 08:05 – How Emotional Awareness Enables Joy
   Savitri explains how learning to feel and name emotions opened the door to joy.

8. 11:37 – Noemi’s Experience with Emotional Numbness
   Noemi shares her story of shutting down after grief and how it blocked joy.

9. 13:04 – Unblocking Emotions to Rediscover Joy
   Both discuss how embracing sadness and frustration helps reawaken joy.

10. 15:00 – Joy vs Dopamine – A Deeper Look
    Joy is contrasted with dopamine hits. Joy is sustainable; dopamine is fleeting.

11. 16:57 – Equanimity as a Sustainable Form of Joy
    Savitri defines joy as equanimity – a state of emotional steadiness regardless of circumstances.

12. 18:00 – Prioritizing Joy in Everyday Life
    Noemi talks about reclaiming joy through volleyball, food, friends — simple pleasures.

13. 19:00 – Joy as a Choice – Rituals and Goals
    Savitri describes the idea of setting joyful goals and tying them to meaningful rewards.

14. 20:35 – Contagious Joy and Supporting a Partner
    Noemi shares how modeling joy helped her husband recover from a slump.

15. 22:00 – The Power of Modeling Joy
    They reflect on the importance of showing joy to inspire others, especially children.

16. 24:45 – Knowing Yourself as a Path to Joy
    Savitri’s definition of joy is deeply tied to self-awareness and feeling complete.

17. 27:00 – Parenting and Emotional Mirroring
    Children absorb your emotional state. Your self-joy teaches them more than words.

18. 29:30 – Joyful Leadership – It Starts With You
    Whether you lead a family or team, your emotional state shapes those around you.

19. 31:00 – Closing Reflections and Meditation Commitment
    Noemi commits to trying meditation again. Both emphasize that joy is your baseline birthright.

Subscribe to Me Time

Useful Links:

You can find Savitree’s article on Joy here:

Decision Confidence

Joy is your quantum leap

Joy I know that I have it…

Read more

a year ago · 16 likes · 6 comments · Savitree Kaur

You can find my article on Joy here:

Me Time Coaching: You're the CEO of your own life!

Vitamin Joy: Why Joy is a vitamin and how to ensure a stable dose

Contents…

Read more

a year ago · 8 likes · 10 comments · Coach Noemi Apetri 🇩🇰

P.S. If you want savvy business tips from a lawyer that helped IT startups become unicorns, subscribe below.

Subscribe now

It is much more expedient to live the life society expects us to live.

It’s easer to follow the path our parents are pushing us towards.

It takes courage to stay true to oneself.

It takes courage to choose joy even if that means leaving a good job.

It takes courage to do things that may disappoint people!

But the thing is….

Beyond the discomfort

Beyond going against the grain

Beyond all the excuses

Going after your joy may actually make you happy.

(My definition of joy is doing or experiencing tings that make your soul sing.)

Powerful! Right?

Now a little story of how I got to understand that the point of living is to create joy:

My dad passed away before he got to enjoy life.

He rarely felt joy.

He worked really hard, was stressed out most of the time,

he never took vacations.

and to me… it seemed like

he was saving enjoyment for retirement.

His passing hit hard for many obvious reasons…

but one thing that it taught me,

the silver lining to a terrible and unavoidable life moment,

is that I learned a valuable lesson:

If I want to live a joyful life, I need to do it right NOW!

That’s Me Time!

This is why I am here.

And if you don’t know what joy is, or how to start choosing joy… take a look at these 2 short videos I recorded (under 5 mins).

Video 1

Is up at the top.

Video 2

And just to be clear!

I am not preaching for anyone to quit their job and start chasing butterflies… or do professional birdwatching. You can start with small choices where you intentionally pause and think "Which one of these choices will bring me more joy?” and then you have to choose the joyful one and commit to it.

Is there a good reason to NOT add more joy in our lives?

NO, but we have plenty of excuses anyway!

But who are these excuses serving?

Not us!

Not our happiness.

P.S. Some Joywork

(“Joywork” is my version of homework)

I dare you to choose joy at least one time this week. See how that impacts your mood and day in general. If you would, do share your learnings in the comments so we can inspire one another.

Leave a comment

Wishing you a joyful week!

With love,

Introducing my guest: Laurence Paquette...

🎈 Laurence is an inspiring real-life leader. She is the Vice President, Head of Marketing, at the wind energy company Vestas. During the pandemic, on a dare from her career coach (unfortunately not me although it sounds like something I would say), Laurence started creating content on LinkedIn.
🎈To this day, Laurence creates short but powerful videos about all kinds of topics relating to leadership, thriving in corporate environments, authenticity, inclusion and diversity, including neurodiversity, and much more.
🎈I love how CRISP, CLEAR and APPROACHABLE Laurence’s videos are. You get a micro-dose of leadership training with every post.

🎈Laurence is one of the most inspiring and clear voices when it comes to diversity and inclusion and she embodies how I think every modern leader should aim to be.

Contents in chronological order:

1. How Laurence started to create content for LinkedIn, TikTok, and Substack

2. Why it’s helpful to have a Coach.

3. What a new manager should do to prepare.

4. People leadership - a roadmap for the first 6 months

5. On employee side: Tips on how to figure out if a hiring manager would be a good manager during the interview process?

6. Ensuring diversity in the team. The process that Laurence uses to reduce bias.

7. Laurence’s best career advice she has ever received.

Questions for the listeners:

We spoke a lot! Now it’s your turn:

1. I would love to hear what was some of the most useful leanings you’ve had about being a people manager?

2. Are you one of the individual contributors that turned down people management or did a you do a U-Turn from a people manager role? I’d love to hear your story in the comments (or a DM).

3. Was there anything we said you didn’t agree with, even partially? I’d love to hear it so we all grow and learn.

Leave a comment

Lastly, if you have any questions for me or for I invite you to put them in the comments.

To get more Me Time podcasts and weekly career coaching tips in your inbox, consider subscribing, if you haven’t already!

Subscribe now

Lastly, here’s some of the best coaching tips from Me Time

How do you unlock people’s FULL potential?

By tapping into their natural talents.

How do you find people’d natural talents?

With a bit of help from our friends.

After you’e identified the talents, what’s next?

This is the fun part. It is called job crafting. You will custom build a career fit specifically for you. “Job Crafting” comes from the researchers at Michigan University.

Watch the video for full details:

Video Contents:

1. Intro - i.e who is Chad.

2. What what is a good way to approach Me Time to make it the most efficient and enjoyable.

3. Why do we need to know what our natural talents are?

4. The one question to find out your talents.

5. Noemi’s answers to the question and Chad’s interpretation

6. Next steps once you know your talents.

7. How to approach changes in your career.

With Love,

Noemi from Me Time

I had the privilege of recording my first interview with a person I really admire:

Chad Aboud.

He is the CCO of Good Lawyer, an ex Big Law attorney, former General Counsel, Coach to many accomplished executives. Chad will share with us his technique for unlocking your natural talents and crafting a job you love.

So on January 1, grab a notepad and a warm drink and enjoy THE masterclass that can unlock the best year of your career!

Are you ready for 2025? I know I am!

Love,

Noemi

Are you sometimes so paralysed by worrying about things that you don’t start projects, try that thing you’ve always wanted to try?

Have you been in an impossible situation, where every choice you thou…

Read more

Who would benefit from this tip?

Are you in a leadership role?

Do you know if you like your job?

Are you unsure if you’re successful in your role?

Is there a person that's particularly difficult to work…

Read more